When I was a junior in high school, my dad made a decision that changed my life forever. After experiencing a major conversion to Christ and entering the Catholic Church on Easter of the year 2000, my dad decided to quit his job as a Frito Lay Plant Manager in order to focus on his faith and family. Growing up, my dad's only, and I mean ONLY, purpose and focus in life was to make as much money as humanly possible. And he was really good at it. My childhood was spent in gated neighborhoods, private school educations, and never having to worry about how we were going to pay for anything. Unfortunately it also meant moving every 3 years, fast food dinners, and a dad who more often than not did not have time for his family.
When my dad gave up his $250,000 a year salary, we became broke overnight. This decision was bittersweet for our family- on one hand I had my dad back, on the other we worried about how we were going to survive without his income. During this time, my mother, who had dropped out of college upon finding out that she was pregnant with my sister, was hired by Starbucks coffee as a barista. This position paid $8 an hour. For a housewife who did not have a college education, this was the best job she could get.
I want to make some things clear. At this point, my dad was unemployed. We had no income and no health insurance. My sister was a freshman in college, and I was finishing up high school at a Catholic college-prep school. The day my mother started working at Starbucks, our entire family was put on a health care plan, even if she only worked part-time hours. This plan paid for medical emergencies (like when my sister was diagnosed with epilepsy), dental visits, and vision for our entire family of four.
Within six months my mother was promoted to a shift supervisor, and a few months after that she became an assistant manager. One year later, she was promoted again to be a store manager. My mom has worked at Starbucks now as one of the top managers in the state for the past 10 years. She earns a high income, due to her excellent performance. Throughout those 10 years, my dad has worked part time at various jobs, but our family was able to survive due to my mothers career. This is the American dream. A mother can enter into the work force after years of being a housewife, and the only thing that matters is how hard she is willing to work.
I will always be grateful to Starbucks for the role that they played in helping my family through a difficult transition. I love the company, in spite of their leftist policies. I love their CORE values, although they are not the same as mine because they are a secular company and I am a Christian. I think that the quality of the drinks they serve, the atmosphere of community and friendship that they try to support, and the way they treat their employees is exceptional for a company that size.
I know that Starbucks supports things that I morally disagree with, but the thing is, they ALWAYS have! Starbucks has always offered abortions as a part of their health care plans, they have always offered benefits for same-sex partners (before it was trendy). I would venture to guess that MOST companies in America do those things. And soon, with the HHS mandate, they all will be forced to by the federal government. I do not believe that it is fair for Christians to hold a secular company to the same moral standards as we profess. I believe that the company values taking care of their employees, and this is the best way that they know how without the formation of Christian values.
I wish that Starbucks was a company that professed Christian values, but they are not. I wish they would be a little less politically active and focus instead on making their company great- serving quality drinks 100% of the time. And maybe the time will come when I feel it is necessary to boycott the company because of thier political beliefs. But, this is such a struggle for me because I don't drink their coffee because I agree with them- I drink it because it is GOOD! In the same way that I don't eat Chick-fil-A because they are a Christian company- I eat it because it is GOOD! That is capitalism, my friends. May the best product win.
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
Friday, January 4, 2013
Let Your "Yes" mean "Yes"
I absolutely love the New Year Holiday. Every year I sit down with my journal and I reflect back on the past year and take an honest (hopefully) assessment of my life- the joys and blessings, and the struggles and weaknesses. This year was no different. On December 31st, I sat down and wrote out my list and wrote a whole extra page of New Year's Resolutions. But by January 1st, the end of that night, I think I can honestly say that my resolution has COMPLETELY changed.
I'll be honest, I am eating a huge piece of humble pie right now. I don't want to write these words, but I need to. On New Year's Eve, I experienced a pretty depressing beginning to the New Year. I had invited my friends to celebrate by going to a nearby bar, then returning to my apartment to ring in the new year. I had done so because earlier in the week when asking people if they had any plans, the unanimous answer was "no". After suggesting this plan, several friends agreed that it sounded fun. On New Year's Eve, I cleaned my apartment, went shopping for snacks, and spent the day trying to prepare for the evening.
By the afternoon, it started becoming clear that everyone who had previously said they could come was bailing- some were legitimate reasons (needing to work early, not feeling well, etc...) but some just found something better to do. In the end, only one person who said they would attend actually did. Although I was very disappointed, I still had a great time, and was very grateful for the friendships that I do have. However, this experience has stayed on my heart for the past week.
See, to me, here is the deal. Our whole generation has a MASSIVE problem. It is called a lack of commitment. We are literally incapable of making a commitment more than a few hours before the event. We can blame the way that we were raised, or the cell phone, texting technology, but the reality is that it simply comes down to the fact that we just are not convinced that it is important anymore. And I am not just talking about the secular world here- this affects ALL of my Catholic brothers and sisters in my generation.
I fully acknowledge that I am the first one guilty of this. In fact, on New Year's day, RIGHT after this experience, I did not attend an event that I had said I would due to a lack of planning on my part.
This year, one of my resolutions was to discern marriage to my wonderful boyfriend. To be thinking about a commitment to someone for the rest of my life scares the bejesus out of me. And, it is no wonder why- I can't even decide how I want to spend my Friday night. We live in a constant fear of missing out- that something better will come along that is more fun or more cool. Well, frankly, I am tired of living this way. Because the truth is that we are called to something so much better than this- to live with integrity.
This passage from Scripture has been resounding in my head all week long. "Let your 'yes' mean 'yes' and your 'no' mean 'no.'" But, the verse that I never think about is the one that comes right after it. "Anything more is from the evil one." WHAT!?
This, my friends, is a big flippin deal. Anytime our yes means maybe we are speaking words from the evil one. I actually cannot believe it has taken me this long to realize this. I do it all the time. I say yes because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but really this is a SIN. Big time.
So this year, I am throwing out my list of resolutions (although hopefully I will still climb 4 14er's) and instead I am making this my resolution. I will become a woman whose yes means yes and no means no. No excuses.
What is your resolution this year?
I'll be honest, I am eating a huge piece of humble pie right now. I don't want to write these words, but I need to. On New Year's Eve, I experienced a pretty depressing beginning to the New Year. I had invited my friends to celebrate by going to a nearby bar, then returning to my apartment to ring in the new year. I had done so because earlier in the week when asking people if they had any plans, the unanimous answer was "no". After suggesting this plan, several friends agreed that it sounded fun. On New Year's Eve, I cleaned my apartment, went shopping for snacks, and spent the day trying to prepare for the evening.
By the afternoon, it started becoming clear that everyone who had previously said they could come was bailing- some were legitimate reasons (needing to work early, not feeling well, etc...) but some just found something better to do. In the end, only one person who said they would attend actually did. Although I was very disappointed, I still had a great time, and was very grateful for the friendships that I do have. However, this experience has stayed on my heart for the past week.
See, to me, here is the deal. Our whole generation has a MASSIVE problem. It is called a lack of commitment. We are literally incapable of making a commitment more than a few hours before the event. We can blame the way that we were raised, or the cell phone, texting technology, but the reality is that it simply comes down to the fact that we just are not convinced that it is important anymore. And I am not just talking about the secular world here- this affects ALL of my Catholic brothers and sisters in my generation.
I fully acknowledge that I am the first one guilty of this. In fact, on New Year's day, RIGHT after this experience, I did not attend an event that I had said I would due to a lack of planning on my part.
This year, one of my resolutions was to discern marriage to my wonderful boyfriend. To be thinking about a commitment to someone for the rest of my life scares the bejesus out of me. And, it is no wonder why- I can't even decide how I want to spend my Friday night. We live in a constant fear of missing out- that something better will come along that is more fun or more cool. Well, frankly, I am tired of living this way. Because the truth is that we are called to something so much better than this- to live with integrity.
This passage from Scripture has been resounding in my head all week long. "Let your 'yes' mean 'yes' and your 'no' mean 'no.'" But, the verse that I never think about is the one that comes right after it. "Anything more is from the evil one." WHAT!?
This, my friends, is a big flippin deal. Anytime our yes means maybe we are speaking words from the evil one. I actually cannot believe it has taken me this long to realize this. I do it all the time. I say yes because I don't want to hurt someone's feelings, but really this is a SIN. Big time.
So this year, I am throwing out my list of resolutions (although hopefully I will still climb 4 14er's) and instead I am making this my resolution. I will become a woman whose yes means yes and no means no. No excuses.
What is your resolution this year?
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
Coffee is my love language
I love Starbucks.
Say what you will about how they support gay marriage and abortion. They do, I won't argue with you. (Although, I suppose I will because they have ALWAYS offered benefits to homosexual partners of their employees and provided abortions with their healthcare coverage- why is everyone up in arms about this NOW that is a political hot-topic?)
But, I digress. Today I was sitting in Starbucks working on my homework for the upcoming Biblical school class that I am taking this fall. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by name by one of the employees. This same employee, who I only know through my daily coffee ordering interaction, a few weeks ago asked me some very personal questions about my life. She knew that I was a youth minister across the street because of the fact that I bring a girl's bible study there in the summers. She asked me about "the guy that I always come in with." She determined that we used to be just really good friends, but have moved on to dating recently, just by observing our interactions with each other. When I make a point to get dressed up in the mornings, I can always count on this barista to comment on how pretty I look. She notices when I get a haircut. If I order a different drink, she asks why.
After I ordered, as I sat there with my computer and homework out, I just observed the customers. A granddaughter was having coffee with her grandparents and her phone was not on the table. A dad was eating breakfast with his toddler daughter, and infant son. There was a group of women chatting up a storm, who seemed to know every person that walked through the door. Other young people, like me, were doing work on their computers.
Then as I sat there, plugged into the internet & my headphones, and elderly lady walks by my table and begins to talk to me. She asked me how I could see the Bible I was reading when the letters were so small. She proceeded to inform me that she didn't need glasses until she was 75, but just wait until I am 80 and I will understand what she is talking about. Then as she sat next to me, she turned to another young man with a computer out and began to talk to him for the next 20 minutes until she left.
As I was leaving and putting cream in my coffee, another woman at the bar asked me if I knew about the secret of baking soda. I told her I did not. She informed me that baking soda made into a paste and scrubbed with a toothbrush will get out any stain from anything. She told me to remember that, and then left.
I love Starbucks. This is why I love it. Part of the mission of Starbucks as a company is to be "the third place." People have their home, and their work, and Starbucks wants to be the third place. The place that people can go when they are tired or just need to get out of the house for a minute. The place that people can meet up with old or new friends and just shoot the breeze. The place where you are known. Where you are cared about. Where you can connect with other people in our increasingly disconnected world.
Does this sound familiar? It should. It SHOULD be the Church. Our hearts were created to be KNOWN and LOVED. How is it that we go into a totally secular environment and leave with the experience of being known and loved, but sometimes when we walk out of our Church we leave with the experience of loneliness and apathy?
I want to learn from my Starbucks barista. I want to start noticing people. I want to know them and love them. Jesus, help me to create an environment where people can truly encounter each other and through that meet You.
Say what you will about how they support gay marriage and abortion. They do, I won't argue with you. (Although, I suppose I will because they have ALWAYS offered benefits to homosexual partners of their employees and provided abortions with their healthcare coverage- why is everyone up in arms about this NOW that is a political hot-topic?)
But, I digress. Today I was sitting in Starbucks working on my homework for the upcoming Biblical school class that I am taking this fall. As soon as I walked in the door, I was greeted by name by one of the employees. This same employee, who I only know through my daily coffee ordering interaction, a few weeks ago asked me some very personal questions about my life. She knew that I was a youth minister across the street because of the fact that I bring a girl's bible study there in the summers. She asked me about "the guy that I always come in with." She determined that we used to be just really good friends, but have moved on to dating recently, just by observing our interactions with each other. When I make a point to get dressed up in the mornings, I can always count on this barista to comment on how pretty I look. She notices when I get a haircut. If I order a different drink, she asks why.
After I ordered, as I sat there with my computer and homework out, I just observed the customers. A granddaughter was having coffee with her grandparents and her phone was not on the table. A dad was eating breakfast with his toddler daughter, and infant son. There was a group of women chatting up a storm, who seemed to know every person that walked through the door. Other young people, like me, were doing work on their computers.
Then as I sat there, plugged into the internet & my headphones, and elderly lady walks by my table and begins to talk to me. She asked me how I could see the Bible I was reading when the letters were so small. She proceeded to inform me that she didn't need glasses until she was 75, but just wait until I am 80 and I will understand what she is talking about. Then as she sat next to me, she turned to another young man with a computer out and began to talk to him for the next 20 minutes until she left.
As I was leaving and putting cream in my coffee, another woman at the bar asked me if I knew about the secret of baking soda. I told her I did not. She informed me that baking soda made into a paste and scrubbed with a toothbrush will get out any stain from anything. She told me to remember that, and then left.
I love Starbucks. This is why I love it. Part of the mission of Starbucks as a company is to be "the third place." People have their home, and their work, and Starbucks wants to be the third place. The place that people can go when they are tired or just need to get out of the house for a minute. The place that people can meet up with old or new friends and just shoot the breeze. The place where you are known. Where you are cared about. Where you can connect with other people in our increasingly disconnected world.
Does this sound familiar? It should. It SHOULD be the Church. Our hearts were created to be KNOWN and LOVED. How is it that we go into a totally secular environment and leave with the experience of being known and loved, but sometimes when we walk out of our Church we leave with the experience of loneliness and apathy?
I want to learn from my Starbucks barista. I want to start noticing people. I want to know them and love them. Jesus, help me to create an environment where people can truly encounter each other and through that meet You.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
Freedom, love, & the Church
Yesterday at our annual all staff meeting at St. Thomas More, our pastor (my boss) Fr. Andrew spoke to us for about 30 minutes on Religious Liberty in America. He has been an outspoken proponent against the HHS mandate from the very beginning of the controversy. He spoke in plain and simple language as to why our Church is against this mandate and encouraged us all to stand up for our God-given right to protect our conscience. His tag line for the upcoming election was "Vote your conscience to protect your conscience because there are those who are trying to take it away."
I am one of the most conservative people I know. I campaigned for George W. Bush in college. I always vote party-line Republican. I believe in the values of the Republican party, and I consider Ronald Reagan to be one of my hero's. I am pretty much the definition of preaching to the choir, and I agreed with every word that he said.
However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about a lot of the emotions that his speech conjured up in me. The main point that has stuck with me that he made over and over again was the concept that all of us in the room were at risk of losing our jobs. That the federal government was making it their mission to ensure that all lay employees of the Catholic Church would be out of a job. In his words, the Cafeteria will close. The Church will survive, Mass will be said, but all of our ministries and programs will end if this law is not changed.
After hearing all this I cant stop thinking about the type of Church Jesus founded. I think back to the apostles and the early Church and the relationship that they had with the government at the time. And the fact is, our Church fathers were persecuted for their faith. They had no rights given to them by the government and many (most) of them were martyred for their belief in Christ. I can't stop wondering if this is the martyrdom that we have to accept for ourselves in this day and age. I just looked around the room and I saw fear, but I don't want to be afraid to lose my job for this cause. In fact, I actually kind of want to.
Which leads me to another wondering that I have been having. If I lost my job today, would that change any of my ministry? When did the call to love others, spread the faith, and live joyfully become something that you get paid to do? I feel like it is my job as a Christian to spread my faith and love others- when did it become a profession? And is it holy?
I guess I am just finding myself in that moment of stress that comes from working for the Church in a paid position. You find yourself seeing faith & Jesus sold like a product- planned, produced, and used. And all of it is so well-intentioned, but I catch myself in this as well. I give talks and I judge whether or not they are successful by the emotional response kids have, not by if I gave Glory to God. I sit in meetings and wonder if the Holy Spirit is really guiding all of this. Should we be judging the success of events on the numbers, or the professionalism of the speakers, or the smoothness of the facilities, or should we be judging on how they/we loved? And then I wonder if we should be there to HELP other people love. And then I go back to wondering how we as a Church were meant to be as Jesus established us. I wonder if he ever intended there to be full time youth ministry as a profession.
Jesus, teach me how to love. Guide our Church, and give strength to the lay employees. Help us to never lose sight of You, first.
I am one of the most conservative people I know. I campaigned for George W. Bush in college. I always vote party-line Republican. I believe in the values of the Republican party, and I consider Ronald Reagan to be one of my hero's. I am pretty much the definition of preaching to the choir, and I agreed with every word that he said.
However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about a lot of the emotions that his speech conjured up in me. The main point that has stuck with me that he made over and over again was the concept that all of us in the room were at risk of losing our jobs. That the federal government was making it their mission to ensure that all lay employees of the Catholic Church would be out of a job. In his words, the Cafeteria will close. The Church will survive, Mass will be said, but all of our ministries and programs will end if this law is not changed.
After hearing all this I cant stop thinking about the type of Church Jesus founded. I think back to the apostles and the early Church and the relationship that they had with the government at the time. And the fact is, our Church fathers were persecuted for their faith. They had no rights given to them by the government and many (most) of them were martyred for their belief in Christ. I can't stop wondering if this is the martyrdom that we have to accept for ourselves in this day and age. I just looked around the room and I saw fear, but I don't want to be afraid to lose my job for this cause. In fact, I actually kind of want to.
Which leads me to another wondering that I have been having. If I lost my job today, would that change any of my ministry? When did the call to love others, spread the faith, and live joyfully become something that you get paid to do? I feel like it is my job as a Christian to spread my faith and love others- when did it become a profession? And is it holy?
I guess I am just finding myself in that moment of stress that comes from working for the Church in a paid position. You find yourself seeing faith & Jesus sold like a product- planned, produced, and used. And all of it is so well-intentioned, but I catch myself in this as well. I give talks and I judge whether or not they are successful by the emotional response kids have, not by if I gave Glory to God. I sit in meetings and wonder if the Holy Spirit is really guiding all of this. Should we be judging the success of events on the numbers, or the professionalism of the speakers, or the smoothness of the facilities, or should we be judging on how they/we loved? And then I wonder if we should be there to HELP other people love. And then I go back to wondering how we as a Church were meant to be as Jesus established us. I wonder if he ever intended there to be full time youth ministry as a profession.
Jesus, teach me how to love. Guide our Church, and give strength to the lay employees. Help us to never lose sight of You, first.
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
What women want...
I read a lot of Catholic blogs, and I really love them. Something about reading other people's opinions is so freeing, challenging, encouraging, and thought-provoking. However, something that I have noticed lately in my reading of Catholic blogs, is the frequency with which Catholics talk about relationships, the differences between men and women, and "theology of the body". Maybe I encounter this more because I am a single, young, Catholic woman, but it seems like every other day that a friend or two is posting articles about the "way it should be" when it comes to men and women.
This topic is SO challenging me, because if you have ever met me you know that I have really strong opinions about how men and women are different, and what relationships should look like, but for some reason all of these articles out there have recently been rubbing me the wrong way. In trying to explain to myself why these articles and opinions have been frustrating to me, I came to the realization that it is because everything in life is supposed to come down to Love. Charity. Truth. And Virtue. Last week in Confession, the priest (Jesus, really) told me that the source of all encouragement is the LORD, and the source of ALL discouragement is SATAN. I was feeling SO discouraged, and the priest told me to send Satan back to where he belonged- HELL.
Why am I telling you this story? Because I think that all of us young Catholic men and women need to focus more on ENCOURAGING each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. I think the reason these articles have been difficult to handle lately is that they are starting to become sources of discouragement- which is straight from hell itself. I know SO MANY amazing, young, Catholic, single, men and women, and not one of them needs to be told to "man-up" or "how to be a REAL woman." What all of us do need, is encouragement in our walk with Christ.
A few months ago, I made a list of things that I wanted in a future spouse. I never wanted to do this, because I have always passionately believed that you fall in love with people, not a list or resume.It's funny to read it now because in making this list, I am realizing that it is a list that describes the virtues that I am striving to obtain for myself. Anyway, at the risk of ignoring my own advice, I feel like these are the things that men and women should be looking for in their spouse, and striving to become in their own lives. (And because I am a girl, keep in mind that I am describing the qualities of a good husband.)
1. Catholic: I've never wanted to admit it but I think it is very important to have the same faith. There is just so much of me that a non-Catholic will never understand.
2. Integrity: I want someone who thinks differently about life. Who holds himself to higher standards than the world. When acting, does he ask "what is the morality of this action?" Typically, if a man lacks integrity, he has an attitude of "I deserve this" or "Everyone else does it, so why not me?"
3. Self-discipline: I want to be drawn into a disciplined life by a man. I hate that I am so undisciplined in so many areas of my life and I need others to help me accomplish this. So, what does discipline look like?
-Exercises consistently: I want to be with someone who recognizes the spiritual good of physical discipline. It's just healthy- mentally, physically, and spiritually.
- Prayer life: Not scattered or just when you feel like it. There is at least one discipline that must be done every day, like the rosary, daily mass, liturgy of the hours etc...
- Finances: Spending habits really matter! Are you impulsive or imprudent in making financial descisions?
- Purity: Total self-mastery in areas of purity. To be ready for a relationship a man must have overcome any previous struggles or addictions in this area. Are you able to set and keep boundaries? This is really a question- Are you capable of love?
4. Attitude of Thanksgiving and Simplicity: There is nothing more attractive than a man who looks at thier life with a deep sense of EVERYTHING being a gift from God. Also, I deeply desire a life of simplicity, calm, and gentle strength. Are you willing to forgo technology to hear God and be present to others?
5. Passionate: I don't really care what you are passionate about as long as it is something! Care about anything, invest in anything, be interesting! It is one of the deepest joys in life to be able to be included in something that brings someone else joy.
6. Madly attracted to the person they are with: Every girl wants to be with the guy who thinks she is crazy beautiful. We want you to see our beauty- physical and spiritual, because beauty is a pure gift from God, and you should appreciate it. :)
This is IT! That's the whole list. It's all I am looking for. And it is all that I want to become. I hope that this can be a source of encouragement for everyone! It doesn't matter how much money you make, what you do for a living, how many kids you want to have, what kind of music you listen to, how long you studied theology, who you voted for, or if you have seen Pride and Prejudice. All I want is someone striving for holiness. All I want to be is striving for holiness.
Encourage one another. Be holy.
This topic is SO challenging me, because if you have ever met me you know that I have really strong opinions about how men and women are different, and what relationships should look like, but for some reason all of these articles out there have recently been rubbing me the wrong way. In trying to explain to myself why these articles and opinions have been frustrating to me, I came to the realization that it is because everything in life is supposed to come down to Love. Charity. Truth. And Virtue. Last week in Confession, the priest (Jesus, really) told me that the source of all encouragement is the LORD, and the source of ALL discouragement is SATAN. I was feeling SO discouraged, and the priest told me to send Satan back to where he belonged- HELL.
Why am I telling you this story? Because I think that all of us young Catholic men and women need to focus more on ENCOURAGING each other as brothers and sisters in Christ. I think the reason these articles have been difficult to handle lately is that they are starting to become sources of discouragement- which is straight from hell itself. I know SO MANY amazing, young, Catholic, single, men and women, and not one of them needs to be told to "man-up" or "how to be a REAL woman." What all of us do need, is encouragement in our walk with Christ.
A few months ago, I made a list of things that I wanted in a future spouse. I never wanted to do this, because I have always passionately believed that you fall in love with people, not a list or resume.It's funny to read it now because in making this list, I am realizing that it is a list that describes the virtues that I am striving to obtain for myself. Anyway, at the risk of ignoring my own advice, I feel like these are the things that men and women should be looking for in their spouse, and striving to become in their own lives. (And because I am a girl, keep in mind that I am describing the qualities of a good husband.)
1. Catholic: I've never wanted to admit it but I think it is very important to have the same faith. There is just so much of me that a non-Catholic will never understand.
2. Integrity: I want someone who thinks differently about life. Who holds himself to higher standards than the world. When acting, does he ask "what is the morality of this action?" Typically, if a man lacks integrity, he has an attitude of "I deserve this" or "Everyone else does it, so why not me?"
3. Self-discipline: I want to be drawn into a disciplined life by a man. I hate that I am so undisciplined in so many areas of my life and I need others to help me accomplish this. So, what does discipline look like?
-Exercises consistently: I want to be with someone who recognizes the spiritual good of physical discipline. It's just healthy- mentally, physically, and spiritually.
- Prayer life: Not scattered or just when you feel like it. There is at least one discipline that must be done every day, like the rosary, daily mass, liturgy of the hours etc...
- Finances: Spending habits really matter! Are you impulsive or imprudent in making financial descisions?
- Purity: Total self-mastery in areas of purity. To be ready for a relationship a man must have overcome any previous struggles or addictions in this area. Are you able to set and keep boundaries? This is really a question- Are you capable of love?
4. Attitude of Thanksgiving and Simplicity: There is nothing more attractive than a man who looks at thier life with a deep sense of EVERYTHING being a gift from God. Also, I deeply desire a life of simplicity, calm, and gentle strength. Are you willing to forgo technology to hear God and be present to others?
5. Passionate: I don't really care what you are passionate about as long as it is something! Care about anything, invest in anything, be interesting! It is one of the deepest joys in life to be able to be included in something that brings someone else joy.
6. Madly attracted to the person they are with: Every girl wants to be with the guy who thinks she is crazy beautiful. We want you to see our beauty- physical and spiritual, because beauty is a pure gift from God, and you should appreciate it. :)
This is IT! That's the whole list. It's all I am looking for. And it is all that I want to become. I hope that this can be a source of encouragement for everyone! It doesn't matter how much money you make, what you do for a living, how many kids you want to have, what kind of music you listen to, how long you studied theology, who you voted for, or if you have seen Pride and Prejudice. All I want is someone striving for holiness. All I want to be is striving for holiness.
Encourage one another. Be holy.
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Love is the Answer
Yesterday a parent came into my office to speak to me. She wanted to talk to me because her daughter had come to me admitting what a difficult time she was having at school, and at home. Eventually, her daughter admitted to me that she was depressed. When this parent sat down in my office, I was SO nervous. What do I know about these issues? How can I comfort or console this woman? Ultimately, I am 26 years old with very little life experience- how am I supposed to even pretend to relate to what this family is going through?
So I listened. And I realized- people have REAL problems. And I do NOT. I was so humbled that this woman chose to share part of her life with me. What have I ever done to be trusted to talk to? This whole last week, I have been COMPLETELY wrapped up in my own life- my problems, my fears, what does this all mean for me. Even in adoration I am approaching Jesus telling him all about my own insecurities and what I want to happen in my life. I'm not saying that doing that is necessarily a bad thing, however, I have totally lost sight of the real world. In the real world, people are deciding if they should stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children. In the real world, middle school teens are getting bullied. In the real world, people are dying. In my world, I am obsessing over whether a boy likes me. Lame.
At times like these I realize how much farther I really have to go to grow in holiness. I just wish that God would snap his fingers and make me the woman he created me to be. I HATE that I can be so self-absorbed. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about what it really means to love. I think I should reflect more on this idea.
Here are a few of the things I came up with:
1. Love is a choice.
2. Love is the everyday action that you take when you wake up in the morning and think to yourself- "what can I do for this person, so that he/she KNOWS that I love them today."
3. Love means caring about the other person's soul more than your own gratification. This one seems so obvious, but especially in dating relationships it seems like we have this never ending list of what we "need" from our significant other. Then suddenly, the relationship becomes about me- what I want, what I need- instead of loving the other person for exactly who they are.
It's so easy for me to practice love with friends. Or imagine loving my future spouse this way. But when push comes to shove, I am called to love EVERY person that walks through my office doors this way. That means that I have to stop thinking about myself so much. I have to start being more intentional with everyday interactions. I can't do any of this without His grace. Jesus, teach me to love.
So I listened. And I realized- people have REAL problems. And I do NOT. I was so humbled that this woman chose to share part of her life with me. What have I ever done to be trusted to talk to? This whole last week, I have been COMPLETELY wrapped up in my own life- my problems, my fears, what does this all mean for me. Even in adoration I am approaching Jesus telling him all about my own insecurities and what I want to happen in my life. I'm not saying that doing that is necessarily a bad thing, however, I have totally lost sight of the real world. In the real world, people are deciding if they should stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of their children. In the real world, middle school teens are getting bullied. In the real world, people are dying. In my world, I am obsessing over whether a boy likes me. Lame.
At times like these I realize how much farther I really have to go to grow in holiness. I just wish that God would snap his fingers and make me the woman he created me to be. I HATE that I can be so self-absorbed. Yesterday, I was talking to a friend about what it really means to love. I think I should reflect more on this idea.
Here are a few of the things I came up with:
1. Love is a choice.
2. Love is the everyday action that you take when you wake up in the morning and think to yourself- "what can I do for this person, so that he/she KNOWS that I love them today."
3. Love means caring about the other person's soul more than your own gratification. This one seems so obvious, but especially in dating relationships it seems like we have this never ending list of what we "need" from our significant other. Then suddenly, the relationship becomes about me- what I want, what I need- instead of loving the other person for exactly who they are.
It's so easy for me to practice love with friends. Or imagine loving my future spouse this way. But when push comes to shove, I am called to love EVERY person that walks through my office doors this way. That means that I have to stop thinking about myself so much. I have to start being more intentional with everyday interactions. I can't do any of this without His grace. Jesus, teach me to love.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Learning How to Die
I have alot of random thoughts inside my head right now- and I'm not sure how they all really relate. But, hey, I kind of write this blog for myself, so what does it matter if it makes no sense to anyone else? I wrote last time about my grandma being sick- and she passed away at the beginning of this month. The events surrounding her death have truly blown me away. My family history is so long and complicated and for a long time I had given up hope that we would ever find forgiveness or healing. And my prayer for her throughout the whole experience was for her to be given the grace of a holy death. She did recieve that grace. My dad was able to stay with her the month before she died. He taught her the rosary, got her baptized, confirmed, recieving last rites and holy communion. My dad came back from Ohio a different man. He forgave his mom, and stated that taking care of her dying was "the only important thing he had ever done in his life."
These events have gotten me thinking about my own death. And how my whole life should be lived as a preparation for the gift of death. My whole life, I've never really let myself think about dying. I mean, I do, but it seems so not relevant and scary that it is easier to just ignore the reality that EVERYTHING I do should be with my death in mind. My dad said that dying was "the best thing my grandma ever did in her life." I want people to say that about me. But more so, I want my life to reflect that I believe in dying.
I went to Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains today, and was overwhelmed with the experience. I asked my grandma in heaven to pray with me for those people. I struggle so much with the "Pro-Life" movement, and how unloving it really is. All of my reflections on death have led me to the conclusion that I just want to love without holding back. Really LOVE. And somehow yelling at women through microphones with bloody baby doll parts hanging from trees just doesnt strike me as loving. I was reflecting on what I would say to a woman walking in to Planned Parenthood if I ever had a chance to, and I realized the only thing I would want to say is that she is loved. Really loved. Regardless of the decision that she makes- God wants to LOVE her.
Last weekend I went camping with a few of my friends. I don't know why I am so surprised when God chooses to spoil me. Everything about the trip seemed perfectly designed to show me how loved I am. We got there late on Saturday and all of the camping spots were full- until we prayed and God gave us a spot. We went hiking and prayed and drove through the mountains in peace. Then it started POURING down rain, which I LOVE. Everything seemed perfectly designed for REST. I wanted my weekend to teach me how to love deeper, and that is truely what I experienced. There is something so beautiful about just letting go of myself to actually love other people the way that they deserve- regardless of how they love me back.
Lord, teach me how to love. Teach me how to live. Teach me how to die.
These events have gotten me thinking about my own death. And how my whole life should be lived as a preparation for the gift of death. My whole life, I've never really let myself think about dying. I mean, I do, but it seems so not relevant and scary that it is easier to just ignore the reality that EVERYTHING I do should be with my death in mind. My dad said that dying was "the best thing my grandma ever did in her life." I want people to say that about me. But more so, I want my life to reflect that I believe in dying.
I went to Planned Parenthood of the Rocky Mountains today, and was overwhelmed with the experience. I asked my grandma in heaven to pray with me for those people. I struggle so much with the "Pro-Life" movement, and how unloving it really is. All of my reflections on death have led me to the conclusion that I just want to love without holding back. Really LOVE. And somehow yelling at women through microphones with bloody baby doll parts hanging from trees just doesnt strike me as loving. I was reflecting on what I would say to a woman walking in to Planned Parenthood if I ever had a chance to, and I realized the only thing I would want to say is that she is loved. Really loved. Regardless of the decision that she makes- God wants to LOVE her.
Last weekend I went camping with a few of my friends. I don't know why I am so surprised when God chooses to spoil me. Everything about the trip seemed perfectly designed to show me how loved I am. We got there late on Saturday and all of the camping spots were full- until we prayed and God gave us a spot. We went hiking and prayed and drove through the mountains in peace. Then it started POURING down rain, which I LOVE. Everything seemed perfectly designed for REST. I wanted my weekend to teach me how to love deeper, and that is truely what I experienced. There is something so beautiful about just letting go of myself to actually love other people the way that they deserve- regardless of how they love me back.
Lord, teach me how to love. Teach me how to live. Teach me how to die.
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