Yesterday at our annual all staff meeting at St. Thomas More, our pastor (my boss) Fr. Andrew spoke to us for about 30 minutes on Religious Liberty in America. He has been an outspoken proponent against the HHS mandate from the very beginning of the controversy. He spoke in plain and simple language as to why our Church is against this mandate and encouraged us all to stand up for our God-given right to protect our conscience. His tag line for the upcoming election was "Vote your conscience to protect your conscience because there are those who are trying to take it away."
I am one of the most conservative people I know. I campaigned for George W. Bush in college. I always vote party-line Republican. I believe in the values of the Republican party, and I consider Ronald Reagan to be one of my hero's. I am pretty much the definition of preaching to the choir, and I agreed with every word that he said.
However, I haven't been able to stop thinking about a lot of the emotions that his speech conjured up in me. The main point that has stuck with me that he made over and over again was the concept that all of us in the room were at risk of losing our jobs. That the federal government was making it their mission to ensure that all lay employees of the Catholic Church would be out of a job. In his words, the Cafeteria will close. The Church will survive, Mass will be said, but all of our ministries and programs will end if this law is not changed.
After hearing all this I cant stop thinking about the type of Church Jesus founded. I think back to the apostles and the early Church and the relationship that they had with the government at the time. And the fact is, our Church fathers were persecuted for their faith. They had no rights given to them by the government and many (most) of them were martyred for their belief in Christ. I can't stop wondering if this is the martyrdom that we have to accept for ourselves in this day and age. I just looked around the room and I saw fear, but I don't want to be afraid to lose my job for this cause. In fact, I actually kind of want to.
Which leads me to another wondering that I have been having. If I lost my job today, would that change any of my ministry? When did the call to love others, spread the faith, and live joyfully become something that you get paid to do? I feel like it is my job as a Christian to spread my faith and love others- when did it become a profession? And is it holy?
I guess I am just finding myself in that moment of stress that comes from working for the Church in a paid position. You find yourself seeing faith & Jesus sold like a product- planned, produced, and used. And all of it is so well-intentioned, but I catch myself in this as well. I give talks and I judge whether or not they are successful by the emotional response kids have, not by if I gave Glory to God. I sit in meetings and wonder if the Holy Spirit is really guiding all of this. Should we be judging the success of events on the numbers, or the professionalism of the speakers, or the smoothness of the facilities, or should we be judging on how they/we loved? And then I wonder if we should be there to HELP other people love. And then I go back to wondering how we as a Church were meant to be as Jesus established us. I wonder if he ever intended there to be full time youth ministry as a profession.
Jesus, teach me how to love. Guide our Church, and give strength to the lay employees. Help us to never lose sight of You, first.
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